Archive for June, 2011

In this moment…

Saturday, June 11th, 2011

In this moment, I am financially free.

Don’t ask me about tomorrow.

In this moment, I am healthy (as far as I know).

Don’t ask me about tomorrow.

In this moment, I am happy.

Don’t ask me about tomorrow.

In this moment, I have a really nice place to live.

Don’t ask me about tomorrow.

In this moment, I am safe.

Don’t ask me about tomorrow.

Heck, don’t ask me about any moment other than this moment, cause, like “they” say, I only know what’s happening IN THIS MOMENT.

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On Death and Dying…

Saturday, June 11th, 2011

I’ve had a pretty good life…realized that if it’s time, any time in the near future, I’m good to go. Right now, I’m healthy (as far as I know), I’m active (a few pains now and again), and I’ve been getting so MANY compliments (I’m actually on someone’s bucket list!; last night a Sax player told me, during a break, that I “look gorgeous”; today another man told me that God spent a lot of time when he was working on me, this was after telling me that I should wear the white wedge cork sandals all the time). Get out, while the getting is good!!

That said, I’m not looking to go anywhere. Things are settling down on the “home” front and there’s no use wondering or worrying, since I really can’t do anything (can’t commit to another place to live, etc) until mid-July anyway. Right now, my future is in the hands of another, a Judge, and the Good Lord. The prospect of working a (possibly) tedious job 40 hours a week, for somewhere in the neighborhood of seven to eight dollars…just so I can “survive”…not a pleasant one. However, if the job wasn’t tedious and if it allowed me a way to STAY in The Villages…that’s another story. But, it’s the prospect, the not knowing, the NOT getting a “real” job after so many attempts…that’s the daunting part of the “view into the future”. But, as already mentioned, I don’t have the luxury of deciding how to spend my future until other decisions are made by other people. Sort of like the life I’ve been living since being asked to take early retirement (or risk losing my medical benefits, some choice).

It hasn’t been all bad. I’ve loved my Ford Mustang GT Convertible, even at 21 years old, driving it brings me joy. And, I’ve had so many adventures…and, the end (so far) result has been that I’m living here in The Villages. I’ve learned to jitterbug and I go dancing as often as I can. I’m swimming when I don’t get to dance, well, not swimming, but doing water aerobics in the dark, thankfully the pool closes at 11PM. I’m reading The Villages Daily Sun and looking for potential employment and, if necessary, another place to live. I’m going to the squares and I’m recognized now…while waiting at the drive-thru at the bank this morning, a man in the golf cart in the next aisle said “you follow Danny and Johnny, right?” and he proceeded to tell me that he thought he recognized me and that he and his wife sit at the table in the corner. I’ll look for them the next time I’m in. I still have people coming up to me BECAUSE I cut my hair, and I tell them that I LOVE hearing that they LOVE my hair! It’s as if I’m Cinderella, having bought a couple of winter clothing items on sale a few weeks ago, clothing that COULD pass for “anytime”, along with my pixie haircut, I’ve “blossomed” into a rare flower or something. When you are flying HIGH, look out below. What’s about to hit the fan???

Mom used to say, “This too shall pass” when talking about pain or sadness, or some other such malady. I was always quick to think, and sometimes say out loud, “that means the good stuff will also pass”. I was admonished not to think that way. And, in today’s world of “what you think, you bring to you”, it’s really best NOT to expect the rug to be pulled out from under you.

Learned that another friend, not a Villager, passed away on Thursday. They found him sitting in his chair, no foul play suspected, surrounded by cigar butts. So many are listed in the paper, all of those “famous” people who founded this or that, discovered something beneficial to mankind, those kinds of people are passing away. And, someone dear to me, even after a short time of knowing him, the dementia and his in/out of reality, has progressed to the point where he’s not eating, he’s nauseous and he’s stopped calling ten times a day. There was a slow decline, from the 14 calls and voice mails one day, to 10 a day, then a couple of days where he just called and hung up, until 2 days in a row with no calls. I knew something was wrong, but a call to the facility told me he was fine, they didn’t know of any problems, none that they would tell me about anyway. The truth is that he’s losing weight and sitting at the dining room table with no plate of food in front of him, he doesn’t feel like eating.

Someone ran over a TURTLE in a golf cart. A turtle. Seeing them squashed and baking in the sun on the roadways, but on the golf cart path? First it was squirrels darting across the road and then zig zagging all over the place before committing suicide on the road…but a TURTLE??

Sigh.

I have 25 minutes for the sale at Beall’s is over. I’m still alive and kicking, and I need some white flat sandals. They don’t make my legs (BLESS YOU MOM!!! and THANK YOU GOD!!!) look as sexy, but they don’t hurt my feet while showing off my ankles!!

:)

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The Old Phone (author unknown)

Thursday, June 9th, 2011

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was “Information Please” and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone’s number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear.

“Information, please” I said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

“Information.”

“I hurt my finger…” I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience.

“Isn’t your mother home?” came the question.

“Nobody’s home but me,” I blubbered.

“Are you bleeding?” the voice asked.

“No,” I replied. “I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts.”

“Can you open the icebox?” she asked.

I said I could.

“Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger,” said the voice.

After that, I called “Information Please” for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, “Information Please”, and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, “Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?”

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, ” Wayne , always remember that there are other worlds to sing in.”

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, “Information Please.”

“Information,” said in the now familiar voice. “How do I spell fix?” I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest . When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston . I missed my friend very much. “Information Please” belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle . I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, “Information Please.”

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. “Information.”

I hadn’t planned this, but I heard myself saying, “Could you please tell me how to spell fix?”

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, “I guess your finger must have healed by now.”

I laughed, “So it’s really you,” I said “I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?”

I wonder,” she said, “if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls”.

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

“Please do”, she said. “Just ask for Sally.”

Three months later I was back in Seattle . A different voice answered “Information.” I asked for Sally.

“Are you a friend?” she said.

“Yes, a very old friend,” I answered.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” she said. “Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago..”

Before I could hang up she said, “Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne ?” “Yes.” I answered

“Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called.

Let me read it to you.”

The note said, “Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He’ll know what I mean.”

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.

Whose life have you touched today?

Life is a journey … NOT a guided tour. So don’t miss the ride and have a great time going around, you don’t get a second shot at it.

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Yada Yada Yada…

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future…

Went swimming again tonight, the second time since moving into The Villages…and only just discovered, by accident, that the pool outside the back door is OPEN after dusk. Even though it is REPORTED to close at dusk. So, from now on, instead of driving across the 441 bridge to the “other” side, I can just walk out the back door. Cool.

Learned that a friend is in the hospital. Saying a couple of mini prayers on her behalf.

Another friend has come to the aid of ailing family members in Sarasota. Hoping she can stop by on her way back to Georgia.

The kids I left (not my kids, but kids I love) back in Georgia are growing up…thankfully I get photos now and then…and, there is ALWAYS Facebook!

Does anyone really know what time it is?

Friends who are living their lives in distant places, or even just around the corner…family busy doing whatever it is that they are doing…dreams that are still only dreams…goals not realized, heck, not even acknowledged…and what about the PLANS for TOMORROW? Not to mention the WHAT IF scenarios.

No time left for you…the Guess Who said it best

No time left for you
On my way to better things
No time left for you
I’ll find myself some wings
No time left for you
Distant roads are calling me
No time left for you.

No time for a summer friend
No time for the love you send
Seasons change and so did I
You need not wonder why
You need not wonder why
There’s no time left for you
No time left for you.

No time left for you
On my way to better things
No time left for you
I’ll find myself some wings
No time left for you
Distant roads are calling me
No time left for you.

No time for a gentle rain
No time for my watch and chain
No time for revolving doors
No time for the killing floor
No time for the killing floor
There’s no time left for you
No time left for you.

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