There are different nuances to each of the Villages…the one where I live is in the middle, or surrounds, a preserve.  I have seen more alligators, in the last 7 months, than I’ve ever seen, except at a zoo.   I have seen them in sizes from 2 feet up to what looked to me to be 6 or 7 feet long.  All of them, here, in The Villages.

There are 3 retention ponds behind the row of houses where I live.  Behind the ponds is a small lake.

Everything has been dry and brown for a long time I suppose.  I’ve only been here a month and it was dry and brown when I arrived.

But, Florida has just had an un-named, possibly tropical?, weather pattern which dumped A LOT of rain on the state.  No doubt, you have heard about it on the news or the internet.  At one point, I heard the weather announcer mention the name Anne, but not sure if they decided to name this event or not.

ANYWAY…out back, everything is alive.  All of the retention ponds have differing levels of water, and you can see the water in the lake just beyond all the brown dead stuff that grew and dried out during the DRY SPELL.   Each pond filled at a different rate, the first one was due to the runoff from the streets, the others are due only to the accumulation of the rainwater.

Today there is all manner of wildlife out back.  I’ve been working at my computer, but take breaks to go check out what is back there at the moment.  I THOUGHT I saw a couple of baby alligators, which admittedly could have also been recognized as turtles…it was more exciting to think that they might be alligators.  They aren’t.  They are turtles.  And, they are swimming around in the retention ponds along with pairs of birds.  Sometimes a lone duck is out there, and a lone black bird with long legs, but usually there are pairs of birds.

Right now, there is a pair of ducks swimming; this morning, one duck was in one pond, the other in the adjoining pond.  There have been 2 sets of red headed cranes out there, right now, one pair has just finished bathing (they have to bend their legs to immerse themselves in the shallow waters) and they are now preening their feathers.  I’ve seen them out there standing, sleeping, on one leg, in the recent days.   There are 4 white birds, not sure what they are, but they are usually over at the other end of the lake.

At night, there is a loud chorus of frogs, and with the constant rain, it’s been a real pleasure to sit out in the enclosed back porch listening to both.

I do love it here.  It’s not Acadia National Park, or the Grand Canyon, or the Everglades.  But it’s fascinating just the same.

Oh, and for those of you who think it’s dangerous to live around so many alligators…they are scared of people.  You can’t get close enough to see one, because it’s already gone from view, either under the water, or into the brush.  People here walk their dogs on a leash.  I haven’t seen any stray cats.  I’m not afraid.  It’s like living in a wonderland, an adult playground with real wildlife.

“Don’t waste time calculating your chances of success and failure. Just fix your aim and begin.” — Guan Yin Tzu

Amen — Me

Trainable.

If someone is trainable, then…

What happens to those of us who AREN’T trainable?  Who march to a different drummer?  Surely there are others out there, who like me, know who we are!

I was one of those “good students” who the teachers loved.  Not one of those unruly students who brought life into the classroom, but who, like the people who ride Harley’s, is sadly labeled as untrainable, renegade, undisciplined, etc.  For most of my life, I have also looked at those lively folks as renegades, and for the most part, avoided being too far from the norm.

I have always had my own mind.  And, I’ve always sought “another way”.   It just occurred to me that I’m one of those people who tries to reinvent the wheel.  One who beats his or her head against the wall because there just HAS TO BE a better way.  Lead, follow or get out of the way.  I totally understand the concept.

In the past few days, I’ve had reason to look at my existence through the eyes of my mother.  She’s the one I call, IM or email with my “latest” pathway.   A reader of this post has been privy to some of the adventures.  I often wondered why mom never really gets excited about my message.  I know why she calmly responds, “that’s nice, dear”, every time.   The TV Show, “Ugly Betty”, was playing in the background the other night as I was working on the computer and I heard another mother who was trying to keep her child on the “right” path.  This mother spoke of the many directions her son has chosen time after time, about how he is going to be a ________ {fill in the blank}, until something else comes along.

Brian Tracy mentioned a woman, and perhaps I’ve already written about her on this site…basically he said that she morphed (my words) into whatever sentiment she heard last…   If someone says the sky is falling, she becomes afraid; if someone says the world is a safe place, she is relieved.  I remember wondering , “Am I like that?”    Brian’s point was that she was an unfortunate soul (my words), easily influenced by the last person who spoke.  I wonder what he would label me, because I don’t even have to listen to someone else to change direction…I change my course, my mind, my direction at the drop of a hat, at the thought of a hat even.  The truth is that I don’t change course on a dime, usually takes a dollar (lots of thoughts), but the simply fact is that I don’t stick with many things for a long period of time.   Perhaps I am mentally disabled?  Like a functioning alcoholic, I’m a functioning fruitcake?

I prefer to believe that I function as a drifter BECAUSE I haven’t yet found my calling.   IF I were “in love” with a path, perhaps I would continue along that path?  I like to think that over the alternative (functioning fruitcake).   For the time being, that’s what I’m going to believe, I just haven’t found my calling.

Regarding breaking all the rules…employers want people they can mold, rely on, trust to get the job done.  Network marketing uplines want people who can “keep it simple” and duplicate a proven recipe for success.    I fully understand the necessity for followers, for uniformity, for the opposite of chaos.  Corporate America dictated that I no longer fit into the successful employee role, that I no longer have a comfortable income and discretionary time to spend reading books or going for walks or watching movies, without worry about how to pay for health insurance, food, and a place to live.  Today I am on my own.  Untrainable it appears.

Within the bounds of legality (no drugs, crime, etc), yet breaking all the “rules” and experiencing the consequences.  I was requested to attend to networking meetings this week, meaning I had to wake up at 6AM.  I am not a 6AM, 7AM or 8AM kind of person…and after two days in a row of less sleep than I need to maintain this facade of “it’s going to be ok”, I was faced with the realization that I DO NOT WANT TO ______________.  Most of the work that I’m doing, usually for other people, I am doing in order to be considered as productive, as someone who is pulling my own weight.  As I write this, it occurs to me that I’m doing what many people do…surviving.

We don’t often have the luxury of living the life we wish to live, we survive.

There is a Gary Larson cartoon…it’s a drawing of a sea of penguins…and there is one, way in the back, who is singing, “I’ve got to be me, oh I’ve got to be me”.  Untrainable.  Breaking all the rules.

Surviving.

I decided to go for the latest opportunity to cross my path.  And before 3PM learned that 2 of my previous commitments/opportunities were in distress because of my decision.  It was while contemplating the path I had chosen to pursue that I saw the BIG WHITE TRUCK with the word INTEGRITY make the turn and head in my direction.

How does a person know whether or not something is a miracle, a gift, or a big, fat boulder meant to distract life’s journey?

I lack focus.  Hardly a secret, I mean, I walked INTO A DOOR two days ago.

A short piece tonight…I’ve decided that I will pass on the latest opportunity, especially after learning what a “draw” is.

I’ll just have to work harder without the assured $250 a week.

Or, maybe I’ll crawl into a cave and have a pity party for a day or so.

It’s going to be raining anyway.

The day before I walked into the metal door and had to driven to the Emergency Room for stitches, I wondered about a recent bone density scan.  I wondered what the results would show and if there might be a possibility of a broken bone during the process of the moving of my stored belongings into the garage in The Villages home where I am now living (THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU GOD for this opportunity, I love living here!).

While I was sitting in the hospital bed waiting to learn if the orbital bone was fractured, I remembered the movie “The Secret” and I started thinking “Thank you for my healing”.  I repeated the phrase again and again and when they told me that the CAT scan showed no fracture, I wasn’t really surprised.  The doctor had told me how fragile the orbital bone can be.  Today I learned that the -1 score from my last test, indicating osteopenia (the beginning of osteoporosis), is now closer to -2, so, for all intents and purposes, IF the bone had been fractured, there would have been a good reason.  The fact that it did not fracture, if you ask me, is a miracle.

A few days ago, I met a publisher of an upstart magazine, one which I see in many of the businesses where I’ve been visiting selling my own ad space.  I explained to him that I already did my own thing, and that I’m also working with another local free magazine company, but he still wanted to meet with me.  Somewhere between then and this evening I thought to myself, “wouldn’t it be cool if I could be paid some amount, in addition to the commission…”, and I let the thought go.  Tonight I received a phone call offering me $250 a week in addition to the commission in return for a commitment of my time.  I am to give my decision tomorrow.  If you ask me, being offered $250 a week in addition to the commission is a miracle.

About 6 weeks ago, I called a friend to see if she was interested in holding skin care (facelift without surgery) and healthy chocolate parties with me…she would do the skin care side and I would promote the healthy chocolate.  She’s beautiful, always dressed to the “T” and knows a lot about fashion, make-up, etc.  She agreed.  But, she didn’t have the money to get into the skin care distributorship…  Thankful for my good credit standing, we agreed to hold the parties and to deal with the financial end down the road.  We have both had different roads to walk since then and last week I sent the skin care distributor kit back to the company.  Tonight she called to share with me that, because of me, she is starting a new business, one which is based on her knack, skill, experience of knowing how to look beautiful.  She said that one action led to another action and before she knew it, she’s moving in a direction she hadn’t considered.  If you ask me, the events which have happened are a miracle.

Today I turned on the TV to find out about the weather…one of the retention ponds in the backyard is FULL and another one is filling up and, tonight, like last night, the frogs are singing loudly.  It’s been totally quiet here for days, no rain, everything dry.  But the world is alive (at least in my little corner) with ducks, cranes and other kinds of birds.  And frogs.  Lots and lots of frogs.  I’m even told there is an alligator out in the larger pond beyond the retention ponds.   Anyway, I turned on the TV.  And the title of the next segment was “Making money in May”…and it was about selling your personal belongings on EBAY.  Even told where to go to get the information on how to go about doing  just that.  One of the reasons I moved everything here to the garage was so that I COULD SELL those things I’m no longer using.  One miracle after another.

It’s perspective.  Pure and Simple.  A few days ago I wrote about making the decision to make my first warm (the person I was calling had sent in an email asking about rates) phone call and was surprised when the person explained that he understood how important advertising is, and that he wanted to buy 3-6 months of advertising.  I’ve since met with him and he hasn’t yet bought any advertising, but he has taken steps towards that end.  The reason I’m sharing this is that a few days ago I thought it was a miracle that he had been so agreeable when I had made the decision to call him about purchasing advertising.  He hasn’t followed through, and the anticipated income didn’t occur, but the elation I felt on the day I called him is still real to me.  And, when (IF) I ever tell that story again, about choosing to make the phone call over working on the computer, it will be to reveal the miracle that I experienced that day.  Right now, it probably doesn’t appear to be a miracle at all to the reader.  I didn’t get the sale, I didn’t pocket the commission.  The decision to FEEL ELATED, that was real.  It was a miracle.

Recently I’ve felt some lumps, one in my arm, another near my knee.  There is a fatty deposit on my side, closer to my back than to the front of my body.  Today I was told that my cholesterol is getting higher, the bone density is getting sparser and my hormone levels are very, very low.  These are the facts.  What do they mean?  What will the future hold?

I don’t know.  I do know that what appears to be miracles are happening every day.  I know that I can say “Thank You God for everything” and I can say “Thank you for my healing”.  I can believe that, somehow, it will all be ok.  No matter what happens.  Or, doesn’t.