There are times when it’s very apparent that there is a grand design.

This morning I wrote about having faith when all around me there is “rumors of wars”, financial problems, you name it.  I wrote about being grateful even when it doesn’t appear that things are going well.

Earlier this evening I was flipping through channels after returning home from a business meeting…and I happened to flip right past Joel Osteen.  But on the second or third pass, I decided to stop and listen.

The sermon was on having faith and being grateful, not only on the inside, even if it is deep down inside, but also on the outside, where the world can see the smiling face, the joyous countenance of someone who knows that God is in charge and that all will work out.  He told about two men, I can’t remember who they were now, who had been beaten and thrown into a prison.  Instead of lamenting about how awful, or unfair, or any of those kinds of actions…the two men were singing in praise of their God who they knew would deliver them.  The story ends with a midnight rescue, the result of an earthquake which broke down the prison door, the shackles around their ankles were loosened and the men were indeed set free.

He told of a personal account where it took great determination to choose to smile when smiling was not something he wanted to do…and that it is a decision for us to be happy, PLEASANT even, when we really do not want to be.

I am not always joyful on the outside, nor am I quiet when things aren’t going well.  I am not a poster child for believing that God is in charge and that “it” is going to be ok.  Even though there are many around me who practice being grateful on the outside, I haven’t yet mastered the art.

It’s one thing to write about faith, and belief, and “knowing” deep inside that everything will turn out for the best.

It’s another thing to outwardly live that way.

I believe that I received validation today that God is aware of my choosing to believe that he is in control and that it is going to be ok.  I also believe that I received a message to LOOK and LIVE  like I believe it.  I am in a place where I do not know what the future holds,  much like everyone around me.  I keep scrambling to “do something, even if it’s wrong”.  And, I know we are told to “let go and let God” and we are also told “God helps those who help themselves”.   I don’t know which message comes from God, or if either of them do.

The servant who buried the talent he was given was chastised, the servant who multiplied the talent was blessed.   I don’t even know if the servant and talent story fits in this dialogue.  I just know that to sit and “wait on the Lord” could be considered ill-advised in my current situation.  And at the same time, scrambling about like a mad woman doesn’t seem very intelligent either.

It’s midnight at the Oasis.   Tomorrow is another day.   Let us be grateful for it.

Not sure if I’ve used that title yet or not, but that’s the sentiment today, Sunday April 19.

I have 12 boxes of healthy gourmet chocolate, I’ve been to 2 meetings and am geared up to laminate all the brochures, etc.  Just the way I’ve done with Pre-Paid Legal and Shaklee.  But didn’t take the time to do with Xango, Vibe, and all the others.  But this time…this time it’s CHOCOLATE.  We don’t have to create a habit for Noni, or Xango, or anything, most people already have a craving for chocolate.  And, instead of sugar laden, caffeine added, wax added, the list goes on, this is chocolate with just the good stuff left in, not cooked out, and acai berries, blueberries added to help sweeten and take away the bitterness of pure dark cocoa.  I am eating chocolate for breakfast.  I am SLEEPING without prescription medicine.  And, I am losing weight too.  The chocolate is an appetite suppressant, in addition to all the other things it does. You can try it for just $39!

Today I meet with my partner who will be working with me to hold Healthy Chocolate, Nuskin’s Galvanic Spa and WINE parties, to discuss how we are going to make all of this happen.  Parties, when husbands are killing families before shooting themselves because of financial problems, and frogs are disappearing off the face of the planet, and men are bringing their daughters along with them while they hold up the clerk to fill the tank with gas.  That’s just the tip of the iceburg, but it sort of references how scary it is to be stepping out on faith in the effort to restore some semblance of stability in my own life.

I cleaned a new property yesterday, in The Villages.  After spending hours in front of the pc finishing my flyer for a local restaurant, the exercise was welcomed.  Mindless cleaning does a body good.  Just 11 more days and I’ll be moving into The Villages.  I’ve been offered a job seling ads for 3 publications in the area (25% on each sale), it appears that The-Villages-Online.com is also building on it’s advertising business, I have 3 potential ad distributors of my own, 2 parties have been gifted to networking groups, and because of Xocai™ Healthy Gourmet Chocolate (FOOD, not candy), I am SLEEPING soundly.  Can’t ask for much more than that!

Of course there is more to ask for, but it helps to focus on the good things, right??  Speaking of which, I had occasion yesterday to consider buying lottery tickets…I kept seeing ‘my numbers’ everywhere…even looked at the clock when 3 of them were displayed while speaking the words “oh I meant to buy a lottery ticket today”.  Just checked and the numbers I usually play did NOT come in on any of the games!  YIPPEE!

Ok, enough blathering about nothing in particular.  Although, when I look back on these ramblings, I’ll have a composite of where I was at this time in my life.  The next few weeks brings the opportunity to pay down debt, have some fun, visit family members, learn new things and make new friends.   Facebook, as my real name, has brought me the opportunity to visit with high school friends at a luncheon in mid-May, back in my hometown.

Life is good.  And, I’m remembering to be grateful.  There have been a multitude of people in my life recently who verbally give God the glory, for lack of a better word, for everything good happening to them.  The action, in and of itself, can’t be a bad thing, especially since it offers the premise that others are also remembering to be grateful.  I have friends who outwardly wince when I recite my experiences all summed up in one quote, “thank you God for everything”.  It’s even on my cell phone when it powers up.  Because it is easier to do more than exist when I believe everything IS happening for a reason, even if I don’t know what it is.

And with that I’ll go start my day.  Thanks to the chocolate I slept in till 10AM!

Recently I heard the words, “it’s ok to say NO!”

No. No. No.

Yesterday this rambling focused on NOTHINGness.  Not really meaning that NOTHING is the goal, just that it would be sweet to be able to do anything desired, whenever desired.

So….Will Susan learn to say no and capitalize on chosen paths?  Or will she continue to say Yes to every request that is made of her?

6 months ago, after more than 18 months of job searching, Susan (wink, wink) landed a job at a local College, teaching Introduction to Computer Science Concepts.   Even that position came with an “I am not sure you are the right person…”, but at least it was a job.

If you’ve read this blog, you know that the hours/pay ratio was hardly worth the effort and it was with relief that the end of the semester came.  Not that there wasn’t enjoyment in presenting the material, it was encouraging to see the students demonstrate that they, too, had enjoyed the class.   The point is that there is so much more that could have been done with that time.  But at the time, there was no way to know that.  A conundrum?  Or, similar to the concept??

Involvement with The-Villages-Online.com has opened a lot of doors, and has brought a lot of good experiences, and opportunity… and awareness of the quality of time well spent.

You definitely can’t measure an experience by the amount of income generated.

How to know when to say no, and when to do everything you can to help, ah, how sweet to be able to know the difference…thinking AA here…God grant me the serenity.   God grant me SLEEP.  God grant me TIME.  God grant me the ability to say NO.

And then, I am reminded, that my anxiousness to “do what I want to do”, my lamenting that “I can’t follow my dreams while I’m ….”, all of this wasted energy is simply that.  Wasted energy.  Either I believe that everything happens for the best, or I don’t.   I’m not saying passivity is the goal…but more than anything, awareness of how I’m spending my time, coupled with the realization that in giving of myself, I’m helping make someone’s experience on this earth better.  At least that is the hope.  I mean, the thought has crossed my mind, IF I DON’T HELP ____, who’s going to do the kind of job I would do?

I’ve also been told (where did Susan go???) that I don’t value myself.  Maybe in the eyes of others that is the case.  And maybe I’m just fooling myself, because I do value the contribution I make to the people around me, and if it is at my expense…well, that just means something better will come of it.

Just heard on the news that schools, or some schools, are prohibited from giving students an “F” grade.  How wonderful not to be labeled a failure, even if, by established standards, your work is considered failing.  I say that from this side of 50.  Regarding a student who is supposed to be learning how to strive to be better, not sure that prohibiting the grade of an “F” is such a smart thing to do.  No pun intended.

I suppose, when the time is right, or when she “hits bottom” time-wise, Susan will step up to the plate and say NO.

Qualifications to the previous post:

1. not even CLOSE to collecting Social Security…just happy that I don’t have to work somewhere to contribute additional hours towards getting retirement when I’m able to do so.  Thank you CORPORATE AMERICA for that much!!

2. not saying i WILL do NOTHING, just expressing joy in the idea of being able to do WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT.  Without demands.  Now that’s a goal!

ok, not that exciting when you consider WHAT I’m in…but I just rec’d my social security benefits statement….and I ALREADY QUALIFY!  No need to fret about getting enough hours to receive what may not exist when I am eligible to retire!!!!   YIPPEE!!

I have a feeling that EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TO CHANGE.  Bought 4 lottery tickets tonight…Fantasy 5, Mega, PowerBall and Lotto.  It is time!!!

ALSO…Today I landed a popular restaurant  who agreed to distribute flyers for me.  My friend, Selma, up in Georgia is going to make cold calls for us,  she is my advertising connection in Georgia and I’ll pick up the cash, design the flyer and she and I will split the income.

I already have another place signed up and I’ve sold a few ads for it myself.  I have 3 spaces, which I’m using to promote my latests ventures….

and I’m about to start, with my friend DJ, hosting CHOCOLATE, WINE, FACELIFT WITHOUT SURGERY, VIVIX (feel 25 years younger, live 25 years longer from Shaklee), etc., etc.,  Ladies Night Out PARTIES!   WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I have landed a Trivia gig on the first Monday of the month at a small place, mostly an OJT kind of thing…it’s a very small restaurant and I’m learning how to “host” trivia while helping the restaurant attract customers.

AND TONIGHT, I went to a networking mixer at Spanish Springs and caught the eye of the publisher of 3 local newspapers.  He wants me to consider selling ad space for him,  25% of each sale goes into my pocket…we are in the talking stage only, I have my other stuff going on and would like to get that started!   And my Chocolate upline, who owns a number of businesses in this area, wants me to be her stand-in for other networking events, people who are interested/sign up for CHOCOLATE will go under me and since she is my upline, we all win.

and I’m still working (probably not for long at this rate???) for The-Villages-Online.com which is HOW I came to find all of these other avenues. Thank you, so much, to two Villagers who wanted to fill a need by informing other Villagers!!

Mysterious ways indeed.  I have been remembering to say THANK YOU, GOD these past couple of weeks.  It’s not just words I write when I say that EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AS IT IS SUPPOSED TO, or, when I write I KNOW IT IS GOING TO BE OK, or when I write, WE NEVER KNOW HOW _____ IS GOING TO TURN OUT, or….   There is a divine plan, I don’t really think that it’s set in stone, but I think there is a master plan to make this game of life have a good ending.

Oh, I noticed a whole new patch of grey today…probably from the LACK OF SLEEP…but once the cash starts rolling in (WHEN MY LOTTERY TICKETS HIT, astrologer be gone!!  I WILL WIN THE LOTTERY DARN IT!!!) I can buy VIVIX myself and with the Galvanic Spa I can remain 55 forever.

I will probably end up with Joan Rivers on speed dial.  But will never go under the knife, we can just sit side by side and look someone else’s age!!

I watched a whole group of silver hairs dancing the night away at MARGARITA REPUBLIC.  I’m gonna be one of them.

Also met a woman, the wife of one of the networking group, who, when asked, “what do you do?” replied NOTHING.

NOW THAT’s WHAT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY.

Of course, I won’t DO nothing all day long, but AH, the luxury of being able to say, when asked “what do you do?”…

out loud and with GUSTO….

NOTHING