A few days ago, after some time spent on bended knee, there appeared to be an answer to prayer.  Enter a mere mortal (Susan/me).  Can’t decide on using first or third person in this on-going narrative…

Anyway, the purported answer to prayer looked like a place to live, with reduced rent, in return for a service.  All legitimate, legal, no funny stuff.   Then came the soul searching, the analyzing, the factoring in of the time, energy, benefit and costs…when all was said and done, the decision was made, GO FOR IT!

In the meantime, the hoped for $15/hr (at least) job at Staples bombed, although there is still the opportunity for a less than $8/hr job at Staples.  Driving 45 minutes one way, to teach students who work at least one job and who may or may not have read the material being delivered, 3 nights a week is still an option.  However,  given the fact that driving 45 minutes, 2 nights a week, along with preparation before and the reviewing and the grading of papers after,  factored out to pay less than $8/hr, closer to $4 or $5/hr, not counting the wear and tear on the Jeep, it is safe to say that teaching is not high on my list of ways to pay the rent.  Effectively, it is close enough, instead,  that I am paying to deliver training, and driving, and worrying about the quality of my instruction, etc…  The end result of the job search has been nil.

On the other hand, it may be that the real miracle, the answer to prayer, was not simply in finding a place to live.

Even though the place to live is IN THE VILLAGES! AKA, My Goal and the basis for this blog…It may be that the miracle is in the idea BORN of the anticipation, the thoughts and planning surrounding the possibility of living in The Villages.  Even that is not a given at this point in time, not only did I have to analyze and make a decision, the final say is not up to me.  I wasn’t the only person to answer the ad.

There used to be an ad slogan, “is it live, or is it Memorex?”.  There is also a saying, something about “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”.  The title to this post is a combination of the two ideas…and answers to the question, IS IT A MIRACLE?   Is it “just what I was hoping for”?  or, is the event simply something to evoke a different potential miracle, something to evoke an idea or a whole different way of looking at something?

There are a number of emails going around stressing to TRUST GOD, even when the path is dim, the weather stormy, the future bleak.  Trust that all is well (hence, the Desiderata post) and ACT like all is well.  Be joyful, hopeful, and HAPPY EVEN, when there is no apparent reason for any of those emotions.

Nothing has changed, outwardly, since the “answer to prayer”.  I’m still living and breathing in the same spaces, there are no additional finances, no packing and preparing to move, no platform to even begin to venture forward.  What has changed is that a few (billion, million…10?) brain cells have been fired and a possible way to survive (financially, aka a job/way to make a living) has been considered as a result of the opportunity to be able to live in The Villages.

Do we bemoan that the “miracle” we expected turns out NOT to be a miracle at all?  A country western song years ago, “I thank God, for unanswered prayers” related the benefit of not getting what you ask for.  All I asked for, all I stated, was “I NEED HELP”.   I didn’t say what kind of help, whether it was for a place to live, for a job, for funds, for __{fill in the blank}__.   I simply said “I NEED HELP”.

Maybe he/she, maybe the Universe, thought I said “health”?

Woke up this morning with an idea that will possibly be an answer to at least one question…

And find that I am continually reminded to believe and have faith that ALL IS WELL…

DESIDERATA

– written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s –

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Weeks ago I applied for a technical sales job at Staples.

I even gathered all my “evidence” of being able to sell and service PC’s and marched down to a location with a Technician Help Wanted sign displayed prominently on the sliding glass door. When I left, the manager wouldn’t even look me in the eye. I think I scared her.

Thursday night I received a call asking me to come in on Saturday, that’s today, for an interview at 3PM.

I was ecstatic. FINALLY a job, with benefits, and I hoped, decent pay.

Not even $8 an hour. With sales quotas and contributing to and sharing a bonus pool based on above and beyond sales figures.

Deflated I left the store, explaining that yes, I still wanted to be considered for the part-time, not full-time, opportunity.

Oh, and I still have the option of teaching 2 classes at the college next quarter. Which means driving to Ocala 3 days a week, 45 minutes each way. To deliver training to night-time students who work and who don’t have time to read the material.

I was asked recently if I had ever gone to night school. I had. I remember studying and cramming for exams…I remember working hard because I was paying for my classes.

Tomorrow is another day. And the sun will shine and the birds will fly in the sky.

There will be a rainbow if it happens to rain instead.

Last night I went to a movie in The Villages and was carded!!

It made me smile when she asked for my license to prove I was old enough to get the senior discount.

Later I learned that they card people to make them feel better about being older.

For a few minutes though, I smiled.

…last night I got down on my knees, this was after spending a couple of hours searching craigslist for potential living arrangements, my lease is up the first week of June, and sending out applications. I basically said, to the man upstairs, “I don’t know what your plan is, but I’m open to whatever…” and “I’m trusting that you have a plan, even though I don’t know the particulars.”

This morning, I began calling the people from the ads I found, the ones that indicated “room to share” in The Villages.

There is an opportunity, one which will allow me to give of myself, to be safe and secure, and to have my own accommodations, all at the same time.

I don’t have all the details at the moment, will learn more this afternoon.

I know one thing that is for certain, I am going to get down on my knees more often!!! And, if I forget, I’m sure I’ll be reminded of the need to do so!